Lessons I've Learned in Paris

On the 3rd of January I was up early - 3am - wide awake needing to write down all that Paris taught me in 5 days before flying off to India for new adventures. Here is a sprinkle of what came up for me...

1) Exquisite Quality (If I'm going to do something, do it well, do it big - with incredible focus)

It shows up everywhere in Paris. I witnessed it in the massive, beautiful architecture. I felt it - at times to the point of overwhelm - in their art. I saw it in the way that couples were with one another. I discovered it in the amazing attention and care that a street vendor put into the making of a delicious, delicate crepe. What a gift. The Parisians know how to live well. Very well.

Here and there we would find the streets still spotted with Christmas decorations. Trees dressed in tinsel and fragile glass bulbs. Right in the easy reach of the public. I didn't see a single one smashed. Beautiful. Such care for what they have around them.

The couples... the beauty here was in the intensity of their contact. Their amazing focus on one another. In a land where beauty is in abundance all around - in buildings, art, the people it seems like it would be sooo easy to be distracted (oh wait, I'm probably projecting a bit there :) ) - it was inspiring to observe the parisian couples focusing so intently on each other. Looking into each others eyes, touching each other - they rarely, from what I saw, batted an eye in distraction when they were with a loved one or a friend. It seems like in Canada many of us have the 'i might be missing something' or the 'grass is greener' thing going on (again, possibly projection - maybe it is only me). It feels somewhat scattered - in what we do - in how we are together - how we touch - how we look at one another (obviously making sweeping generalizations here). In Canada it is relatively easy to make eye contact yet it is often fleeting, scattered. We make contact yet we don't. In Paris, it seems that many people are focused in on what they're doing - whether it is work or relationship - to the point of NOT making eye contact with another on the outside. This remarkably strong No leaves room for a remarkably strong Yes (typically for their partners/friends). Yet in those rare instances where one of them would look over at me (typically only if they were alone) they truly looked. They took time with a steady, consistent gaze - no sign of discomfort or the need to look away.

2) I'm responsible for creating the space for relationship

I choose not to wait for another to make contact with me. If I wait, it might never happen. This came up strong for me in reaction to the strong boundaries of the Parisian 'coupling'. I often felt like it was impossible to connect with others while in the city - I'd look in attempt to make eye contact and the door wouldn't open for me. What it basically came down to is a strong realization that I tend to play it VERY safe when meeting new people. In the past I would wait and hope that they would 'break the ice ' by saying hello, by engaging me in conversation. Then at least I'd know they were somewhat interested in the interaction. Playing it safe. At other times (and even in Paris with Don) I'd use other friends as support - I'd have them come along for a sense of safety - as backup in the sense that somebody else was supporting what I was doing - or wanting to do. Again, playing it safe. It feels so vulnerable to be the one that takes action... what if I'm wrong? what if I'm not received? What if they say no?

So I was asking myself...How much longer will I hold out in fear of rejection? How much more disappointment in my own inaction will I endure until I get that I'm the one responsible here? That I'm capable of taking action and making contact at anytime? I'm responsible for opening the door. The worst they can say is no. They might ignore me...they might not care...but at least I can open the door to the possibility of relationship. At least I can acknowledge that we are together. Yes, there is a deep Truth in our 'aloneness' - and yet 'others' keep showing up. I walk amongst my brothers and sisters - it is time to treat them as such. There might not be another moment to physically express how beautiful you are, how incredible and full of grace that you are. There might not be another moment to express how much I love you. ...there isn't.

3) I only 'own' what I'm capable of acting upon.

This is huge for me. HUGE.

I've had insightful teachers in the past express that it is good to know (think) something yet it is quite worthless (eg. having thoughts about what love is)... and that it is great to have felt something yet it is only of personal worth and is fleeting (eg. having an intense experience of deep love)... but it is the action of loving another - taking it into the world (outside of yourself) - that is worth everything.

I've had many thoughts/understandings throughout my life... I've even been blessed with some incredible experiences of unbound love, joy, and bliss... yet when I'm not in the midst of those fleeting experiences I become very curious as to why, on gods green earth, I would shut those experiences down (when they are always available)?? And for a long time I've thought that I've needed more of those experiences so that I would become 'familiar' with the territory and stay there longer. i've thought that it was necessary to unload a few more layers of what i think is holding me back. i've thought that once I have it, then I could offer it to others.

And the funny thing is... (within what seems like such a personal pursuit/path)... that I just need to share it with others. My hold back from expressing and sharing love, joy and bliss (or my favourite way to describe it right now - delight, wonderment, and astonishment) to/with others - regardless of who they are and what they've done for me - is whats holding me back from more consistently experiencing delight, wonderment, and astonishment. I've heard a very wise man say 'Give what you most want to receive'. Profound words. Thank you to all my teachers that have taught even when I wasn't listening. I get it. And as it says in the opening line, I only own what I'm capable of acting upon. May my future actions speak louder than my words.

and on that note....

4) It isn't necessary to paint holy symbols or holy people or holy events to transmit Truth.

All I've got to say is go to Paris and look at an original painting by Monet. It may look like a painting of a flower or a bridge but it is actually God, Truth, divinity - whatever you want to call This.

I saw an incredible amount of artwork in Paris. Inspiring works of beauty, many of which were meaningful depictions of mainly christian/catholic themes with intense stories, spiritual lessons and pointers. I've seen innumerable paintings by artists that obviously saw the beauty, the grace, the emotion, the message... and then painted it vibrantly... beautifully... and then there was Van Gogh and Monet. Monet in particular. I stood in front of a few exquisite works of Monets and was speechless. Brought to great depth. Openned. Tears welling up. While other painters painted about god, Monet painted god... in a flower.... in a bridge. His premier works vibrate so deeply. so truthfully.

Chances are, he wasn't 'teaching' anyone about god with his paintings... he was simply, profoundly sharing the implicit beauty of This with all. I am forever touched.... forever moved by his generosity.

Love