Well...
I've spent the last few years of my life peeling away at the onion that i thought was me in search of a deeper sense of who and what i am. i came to india a month ago feeling a completion in this cycle... the searching was complete. It had been for the past few months. So Paris, and now India, have been a freakin' sidewipe to my feelings of contentment and 'closure'.
Sure, the searching feels complete...but the finding is only the first step in this new cycle, a cycle of action. Paris kicked this realization out of neutral and into 1st gear and now india challenges me to shift gears again. Oh...and the onion, which really has nothing to do with what i was previously searching for, is still here to be peeled...and sometimes it's stinky.
I've spent the past couple of weeks in Rishikesh catching my breath from the first two weeks in India - India is intense. It's a paradoxical splatter across the face of my expectations. I've had some time to sit with things and contemplate and there is a lot coming up! Only thing is that it feels like a Rubiks Cube spinning and twisting in space, combination after combination tumbling into place and then dissolving. A lot of the chunks make sense yet there is a feeling that it all ties together intricately and i can't see it yet... so i pause... and with patience i acknowledge that i still cannot appropriately describe what is up for me. It is coming - i know that much.
Until then,
enjoy the love that is all of this
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
India in Two Weeks
I'm sitting in Delhi waiting to head to the train station for a short journey (about 4 hours) to Haridwar. From there, an hour long bus ride will land me in Rishikesh - the self-proclaimed Yoga capital of the world. Looking forward to it. Smiles
This past couple of weeks in India with Don have been nutz. What an incredible juxtaposition against the pre-India trip to Paris! Here is a short recap... some of my personal learnings and growth will be posted in the next day or two.
Don and I flew into Mumbai, direct from Paris. On the flight we met an amazing guy by the name of Ankush. Three men, sitting beside each other on the flight journaling. Weird - guess we've got to meet this guy. smiles. It turned out that he lived in Pune - our first planned destination after arriving. He invited Don and I to travel with him that night back to Pune and to stay at his place for the night until we got some bearings. He also said that it would be a softer entrance into India. Haha. No kidding. He lives quite well. We had a great time with him and know that we'll be seeing him again in the future.
We stayed in Pune for the first few days - a couple of which we spent some time at a huge Osho Ashram - a gorgeous spiritual center that catered to an incredibly diverse international crowd. Osho was a free-loving man...and a self-proclaimed 'dangerous' man that didn't like to follow societal norms. His preference - celebration. love. rich, sensuous experience. This lives on a bit at the ashram even though he is no longer around to hold the space for it.
We didn't see a whole lot of the city of Pune. We left on a 27hr turn 32 hr train ride to Varanasi, our next destination that was to kick off a fairly rapid trip to numerous cities and sites between Varanasi and Delhi over the past 9 or so days. The train ride a special unto itself. Incredible community as people visited and shared. Incredible noise - the train sounds often overwhelmed by loud auctioneer-like shouts of the countless vendors that walked through - someone selling peanuts. The next moment, Chai!?!? Coffee?? Coffee! Chai! shouted by a boy carrying a metal pot with a built on burning coal bed to keep the heat. tea bags and cups in the other hand. The next moment a women walks by clad in a dollar store - literally covered head to foot in streaming lines of cheap plastic items for sale. the next moment, samosas. the next moment, water. then, ice cream. Next, omelets. books. biryani. pens with lights on them. only 5 rupees - very cheap sir. good quality sir. There were also an incredible number of poor on the train, walking and crawling (some were quite physically challenged - to say the least) through the aisle begging for change. Incredible. Moving. A woman sitting across from Don and I was quite pregnant and experiencing a tonne of discomfort that turned into labor pains during the last few hours of the trip. what a trip. in all senses of the statement.
Varanasi was incredible . Its tight galis (very narrow walkways that lead through the dense layers of buildings that line the edge of the Ganga (the Ganges river)) were disorienting and maze-like... filled with cows, people, bicycles, scooters, motorbikes!, monkeys, and splatters of known and unknown refuse strewn here and there. small points of worship peppered here and there. goats. vendors. beggars. smells that change (as they seem to in india) every 5 feet. A few strides of my legs takes me through the scents of chai, cow shit, flowers, baking, urine, incense, smoke from all sorts of things - some toxic for sure, sewage, etc.... Everyone in the city seemed ready to help. And many of them seemed to be VERY well connected. Sir, I can show you to your hotel. Do you want a boat ride? Silk? Chai? Doctor? Musical Instruments? Drugs? Food? Offerings for worship (typically flowers or candles)? Astrology? See the sites? All of it - available everywhere. And they're more than ready to ask you over and over and over and over and over and over and over again if you want it. Sir! very good quality! Sir! very good deal. This place is a must-see as far as I'm concerned and at the same time it is quite challenging because of the huge push on selling to tourists. Worth it though to see all the ghats (the devotional areas that lead down the banks to the Ganga) and the bathing/ worshipping that is done daily. To see the Ganga, the funky strangeness of the city itself, the animals blending in with the people of the city (mostly cows and goats, although we saw some chickens, pigs and monkeys too - everything appears to live in harmony here), and the surrounding sites (we got to check out Sarnath - the site where Buddha is said to have given his first sermon to five disciples.
Next we traveled to Allahabad - one of the homes of the Mela. Apparently this is the main location - where the Ganges and Yamuna rivers merge with a non-physical, sacred, mystical third known as the Saraswati River. The Mela is a massive festival that happens every year. Every twelve years it becomes the Kumbha Mela - the largest festival on earth with about 16 million pilgrims visiting over a month period. We were there for the kick-off to the festival. Thousands and thousands of people - countless people everywhere camped out around this sacred confluence of rivers - coming to bath in the holiest of waters. Coming to wash away there sins as one reporter put it. Coming to worship a thread that weaves us all together. It was breath-taking. It moved me deeply - to tears - to be part of such a gathering.
From there we went to Chitrakut - said to be a mini varanasi with its small ghats along a narrow river. We took a boat ride, enjoyed a puja (a ritual of worship) and then I proceeded to eat some food that made me vomit violently during the night. I was sick the whole next day but that didn't stop us from moving on to our next stop (Chitrakut was proving to not be the appropriate stop in many ways), Khujaraho.
The next day in Khujaraho was amazing. I was feeling much better thankfully and we went to some 1000 year old Hindu temples. The sculptures here were very tantric in nature - incredibly sensuous! Some even explicitly sexual. One even with an animal mixed in! haha didn't see anything like that at Notre-Damne. smiles. The carvings and sculptures that covered and lined these huge monuments to hindu gods were incredible. Another must see for sure.
Orchha was next on the list. A stopping point between Khujaraho and Agra, it served us with some rest and a chance to photograph some amazing temples and stupas that were jutting out of the forest that this little town was embedded within.
Agra was a short stop as well. We had the immense blessing of seeing two wonderful structures. The Taj Mahal has been called by the poet, Tagore, a tear drop on the face of eternity! Beautiful description for such a miraculous place. My god, it is absolutely beautiful. Fairy-tale like. The entire main building and associated towers are white marble that swirls with undulating hints of color. Massive arching entrances where the marble is enhanced even further with ripples of texture that produce star-like patterns across them. A must see. The other must see in Agra is the Agra Fort. We almost passed this one up and we are SUPER happy we didn't. It is a photographers dream (as is much of india :) ). Massive, aged and worn, with a huge moat where crocodiles use to play. ;) This brick-red fort was turned into a palace/temple by a king of old and it shows. Layers of rooms, walkways, windows that highlight the Taj.... the kid in me craved to explore every little hidden passage and secret room.
And now, Delhi. Not too much sight-seeing here for me. Instead, rest and waiting for the next leg which is now only a couple of hours away. Don is comfortably on his way home. Off to the train station I go.
Love
This past couple of weeks in India with Don have been nutz. What an incredible juxtaposition against the pre-India trip to Paris! Here is a short recap... some of my personal learnings and growth will be posted in the next day or two.
Don and I flew into Mumbai, direct from Paris. On the flight we met an amazing guy by the name of Ankush. Three men, sitting beside each other on the flight journaling. Weird - guess we've got to meet this guy. smiles. It turned out that he lived in Pune - our first planned destination after arriving. He invited Don and I to travel with him that night back to Pune and to stay at his place for the night until we got some bearings. He also said that it would be a softer entrance into India. Haha. No kidding. He lives quite well. We had a great time with him and know that we'll be seeing him again in the future.
We stayed in Pune for the first few days - a couple of which we spent some time at a huge Osho Ashram - a gorgeous spiritual center that catered to an incredibly diverse international crowd. Osho was a free-loving man...and a self-proclaimed 'dangerous' man that didn't like to follow societal norms. His preference - celebration. love. rich, sensuous experience. This lives on a bit at the ashram even though he is no longer around to hold the space for it.
We didn't see a whole lot of the city of Pune. We left on a 27hr turn 32 hr train ride to Varanasi, our next destination that was to kick off a fairly rapid trip to numerous cities and sites between Varanasi and Delhi over the past 9 or so days. The train ride a special unto itself. Incredible community as people visited and shared. Incredible noise - the train sounds often overwhelmed by loud auctioneer-like shouts of the countless vendors that walked through - someone selling peanuts. The next moment, Chai!?!? Coffee?? Coffee! Chai! shouted by a boy carrying a metal pot with a built on burning coal bed to keep the heat. tea bags and cups in the other hand. The next moment a women walks by clad in a dollar store - literally covered head to foot in streaming lines of cheap plastic items for sale. the next moment, samosas. the next moment, water. then, ice cream. Next, omelets. books. biryani. pens with lights on them. only 5 rupees - very cheap sir. good quality sir. There were also an incredible number of poor on the train, walking and crawling (some were quite physically challenged - to say the least) through the aisle begging for change. Incredible. Moving. A woman sitting across from Don and I was quite pregnant and experiencing a tonne of discomfort that turned into labor pains during the last few hours of the trip. what a trip. in all senses of the statement.
Varanasi was incredible . Its tight galis (very narrow walkways that lead through the dense layers of buildings that line the edge of the Ganga (the Ganges river)) were disorienting and maze-like... filled with cows, people, bicycles, scooters, motorbikes!, monkeys, and splatters of known and unknown refuse strewn here and there. small points of worship peppered here and there. goats. vendors. beggars. smells that change (as they seem to in india) every 5 feet. A few strides of my legs takes me through the scents of chai, cow shit, flowers, baking, urine, incense, smoke from all sorts of things - some toxic for sure, sewage, etc.... Everyone in the city seemed ready to help. And many of them seemed to be VERY well connected. Sir, I can show you to your hotel. Do you want a boat ride? Silk? Chai? Doctor? Musical Instruments? Drugs? Food? Offerings for worship (typically flowers or candles)? Astrology? See the sites? All of it - available everywhere. And they're more than ready to ask you over and over and over and over and over and over and over again if you want it. Sir! very good quality! Sir! very good deal. This place is a must-see as far as I'm concerned and at the same time it is quite challenging because of the huge push on selling to tourists. Worth it though to see all the ghats (the devotional areas that lead down the banks to the Ganga) and the bathing/ worshipping that is done daily. To see the Ganga, the funky strangeness of the city itself, the animals blending in with the people of the city (mostly cows and goats, although we saw some chickens, pigs and monkeys too - everything appears to live in harmony here), and the surrounding sites (we got to check out Sarnath - the site where Buddha is said to have given his first sermon to five disciples.
Next we traveled to Allahabad - one of the homes of the Mela. Apparently this is the main location - where the Ganges and Yamuna rivers merge with a non-physical, sacred, mystical third known as the Saraswati River. The Mela is a massive festival that happens every year. Every twelve years it becomes the Kumbha Mela - the largest festival on earth with about 16 million pilgrims visiting over a month period. We were there for the kick-off to the festival. Thousands and thousands of people - countless people everywhere camped out around this sacred confluence of rivers - coming to bath in the holiest of waters. Coming to wash away there sins as one reporter put it. Coming to worship a thread that weaves us all together. It was breath-taking. It moved me deeply - to tears - to be part of such a gathering.
From there we went to Chitrakut - said to be a mini varanasi with its small ghats along a narrow river. We took a boat ride, enjoyed a puja (a ritual of worship) and then I proceeded to eat some food that made me vomit violently during the night. I was sick the whole next day but that didn't stop us from moving on to our next stop (Chitrakut was proving to not be the appropriate stop in many ways), Khujaraho.
The next day in Khujaraho was amazing. I was feeling much better thankfully and we went to some 1000 year old Hindu temples. The sculptures here were very tantric in nature - incredibly sensuous! Some even explicitly sexual. One even with an animal mixed in! haha didn't see anything like that at Notre-Damne. smiles. The carvings and sculptures that covered and lined these huge monuments to hindu gods were incredible. Another must see for sure.
Orchha was next on the list. A stopping point between Khujaraho and Agra, it served us with some rest and a chance to photograph some amazing temples and stupas that were jutting out of the forest that this little town was embedded within.
Agra was a short stop as well. We had the immense blessing of seeing two wonderful structures. The Taj Mahal has been called by the poet, Tagore, a tear drop on the face of eternity! Beautiful description for such a miraculous place. My god, it is absolutely beautiful. Fairy-tale like. The entire main building and associated towers are white marble that swirls with undulating hints of color. Massive arching entrances where the marble is enhanced even further with ripples of texture that produce star-like patterns across them. A must see. The other must see in Agra is the Agra Fort. We almost passed this one up and we are SUPER happy we didn't. It is a photographers dream (as is much of india :) ). Massive, aged and worn, with a huge moat where crocodiles use to play. ;) This brick-red fort was turned into a palace/temple by a king of old and it shows. Layers of rooms, walkways, windows that highlight the Taj.... the kid in me craved to explore every little hidden passage and secret room.
And now, Delhi. Not too much sight-seeing here for me. Instead, rest and waiting for the next leg which is now only a couple of hours away. Don is comfortably on his way home. Off to the train station I go.
Love
Picture this...
We are walking back to our hotel from the world-class beauty of the Taj Mahal and as we turn to enter the narrow gateway into the courtyard we stop dead in our tracks, almost getting splattered by a waterfall of urine that is gushing out of a massive cow that is filling the entrance - ass pointed strategically towards all entering guests!
Settling in to what turned out to be a 32 hour train ride from Pune to Varanasi...getting to know the beautiful people seated with us in our section. All of a sudden CLAP! CLAP! Two huge shocking claps and a booming demand in Hindi (I think). We look to the aisle (a couple of feet away) to discover two very large transvestites/trans-sexual Indians threateningly demanding money from the Indian passengers. They didn't even look at us. The passengers quickly dig into their pockets and hand some over.
Don, walking down a street near an ashram...passing a man who quickly turns and says...Sir! Sir! Your ears Sir! My ears?? Your ears! The man runs over like lightening, hooks the top of one of Don's ears, and with a long thin metal instrument (with a little metal spoon on the end) sticks the instrument of shock into Don's ear and then pulls it out saying look! look! I can clean your ears for you! umm, No thanks.
haha. India. Crazy.
Love
Settling in to what turned out to be a 32 hour train ride from Pune to Varanasi...getting to know the beautiful people seated with us in our section. All of a sudden CLAP! CLAP! Two huge shocking claps and a booming demand in Hindi (I think). We look to the aisle (a couple of feet away) to discover two very large transvestites/trans-sexual Indians threateningly demanding money from the Indian passengers. They didn't even look at us. The passengers quickly dig into their pockets and hand some over.
Don, walking down a street near an ashram...passing a man who quickly turns and says...Sir! Sir! Your ears Sir! My ears?? Your ears! The man runs over like lightening, hooks the top of one of Don's ears, and with a long thin metal instrument (with a little metal spoon on the end) sticks the instrument of shock into Don's ear and then pulls it out saying look! look! I can clean your ears for you! umm, No thanks.
haha. India. Crazy.
Love
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Lessons I've Learned in Paris
On the 3rd of January I was up early - 3am - wide awake needing to write down all that Paris taught me in 5 days before flying off to India for new adventures. Here is a sprinkle of what came up for me...
1) Exquisite Quality (If I'm going to do something, do it well, do it big - with incredible focus)
It shows up everywhere in Paris. I witnessed it in the massive, beautiful architecture. I felt it - at times to the point of overwhelm - in their art. I saw it in the way that couples were with one another. I discovered it in the amazing attention and care that a street vendor put into the making of a delicious, delicate crepe. What a gift. The Parisians know how to live well. Very well.
Here and there we would find the streets still spotted with Christmas decorations. Trees dressed in tinsel and fragile glass bulbs. Right in the easy reach of the public. I didn't see a single one smashed. Beautiful. Such care for what they have around them.
The couples... the beauty here was in the intensity of their contact. Their amazing focus on one another. In a land where beauty is in abundance all around - in buildings, art, the people it seems like it would be sooo easy to be distracted (oh wait, I'm probably projecting a bit there :) ) - it was inspiring to observe the parisian couples focusing so intently on each other. Looking into each others eyes, touching each other - they rarely, from what I saw, batted an eye in distraction when they were with a loved one or a friend. It seems like in Canada many of us have the 'i might be missing something' or the 'grass is greener' thing going on (again, possibly projection - maybe it is only me). It feels somewhat scattered - in what we do - in how we are together - how we touch - how we look at one another (obviously making sweeping generalizations here). In Canada it is relatively easy to make eye contact yet it is often fleeting, scattered. We make contact yet we don't. In Paris, it seems that many people are focused in on what they're doing - whether it is work or relationship - to the point of NOT making eye contact with another on the outside. This remarkably strong No leaves room for a remarkably strong Yes (typically for their partners/friends). Yet in those rare instances where one of them would look over at me (typically only if they were alone) they truly looked. They took time with a steady, consistent gaze - no sign of discomfort or the need to look away.
2) I'm responsible for creating the space for relationship
I choose not to wait for another to make contact with me. If I wait, it might never happen. This came up strong for me in reaction to the strong boundaries of the Parisian 'coupling'. I often felt like it was impossible to connect with others while in the city - I'd look in attempt to make eye contact and the door wouldn't open for me. What it basically came down to is a strong realization that I tend to play it VERY safe when meeting new people. In the past I would wait and hope that they would 'break the ice ' by saying hello, by engaging me in conversation. Then at least I'd know they were somewhat interested in the interaction. Playing it safe. At other times (and even in Paris with Don) I'd use other friends as support - I'd have them come along for a sense of safety - as backup in the sense that somebody else was supporting what I was doing - or wanting to do. Again, playing it safe. It feels so vulnerable to be the one that takes action... what if I'm wrong? what if I'm not received? What if they say no?
So I was asking myself...How much longer will I hold out in fear of rejection? How much more disappointment in my own inaction will I endure until I get that I'm the one responsible here? That I'm capable of taking action and making contact at anytime? I'm responsible for opening the door. The worst they can say is no. They might ignore me...they might not care...but at least I can open the door to the possibility of relationship. At least I can acknowledge that we are together. Yes, there is a deep Truth in our 'aloneness' - and yet 'others' keep showing up. I walk amongst my brothers and sisters - it is time to treat them as such. There might not be another moment to physically express how beautiful you are, how incredible and full of grace that you are. There might not be another moment to express how much I love you. ...there isn't.
3) I only 'own' what I'm capable of acting upon.
This is huge for me. HUGE.
I've had insightful teachers in the past express that it is good to know (think) something yet it is quite worthless (eg. having thoughts about what love is)... and that it is great to have felt something yet it is only of personal worth and is fleeting (eg. having an intense experience of deep love)... but it is the action of loving another - taking it into the world (outside of yourself) - that is worth everything.
I've had many thoughts/understandings throughout my life... I've even been blessed with some incredible experiences of unbound love, joy, and bliss... yet when I'm not in the midst of those fleeting experiences I become very curious as to why, on gods green earth, I would shut those experiences down (when they are always available)?? And for a long time I've thought that I've needed more of those experiences so that I would become 'familiar' with the territory and stay there longer. i've thought that it was necessary to unload a few more layers of what i think is holding me back. i've thought that once I have it, then I could offer it to others.
And the funny thing is... (within what seems like such a personal pursuit/path)... that I just need to share it with others. My hold back from expressing and sharing love, joy and bliss (or my favourite way to describe it right now - delight, wonderment, and astonishment) to/with others - regardless of who they are and what they've done for me - is whats holding me back from more consistently experiencing delight, wonderment, and astonishment. I've heard a very wise man say 'Give what you most want to receive'. Profound words. Thank you to all my teachers that have taught even when I wasn't listening. I get it. And as it says in the opening line, I only own what I'm capable of acting upon. May my future actions speak louder than my words.
and on that note....
4) It isn't necessary to paint holy symbols or holy people or holy events to transmit Truth.
All I've got to say is go to Paris and look at an original painting by Monet. It may look like a painting of a flower or a bridge but it is actually God, Truth, divinity - whatever you want to call This.
I saw an incredible amount of artwork in Paris. Inspiring works of beauty, many of which were meaningful depictions of mainly christian/catholic themes with intense stories, spiritual lessons and pointers. I've seen innumerable paintings by artists that obviously saw the beauty, the grace, the emotion, the message... and then painted it vibrantly... beautifully... and then there was Van Gogh and Monet. Monet in particular. I stood in front of a few exquisite works of Monets and was speechless. Brought to great depth. Openned. Tears welling up. While other painters painted about god, Monet painted god... in a flower.... in a bridge. His premier works vibrate so deeply. so truthfully.
Chances are, he wasn't 'teaching' anyone about god with his paintings... he was simply, profoundly sharing the implicit beauty of This with all. I am forever touched.... forever moved by his generosity.
Love
1) Exquisite Quality (If I'm going to do something, do it well, do it big - with incredible focus)
It shows up everywhere in Paris. I witnessed it in the massive, beautiful architecture. I felt it - at times to the point of overwhelm - in their art. I saw it in the way that couples were with one another. I discovered it in the amazing attention and care that a street vendor put into the making of a delicious, delicate crepe. What a gift. The Parisians know how to live well. Very well.
Here and there we would find the streets still spotted with Christmas decorations. Trees dressed in tinsel and fragile glass bulbs. Right in the easy reach of the public. I didn't see a single one smashed. Beautiful. Such care for what they have around them.
The couples... the beauty here was in the intensity of their contact. Their amazing focus on one another. In a land where beauty is in abundance all around - in buildings, art, the people it seems like it would be sooo easy to be distracted (oh wait, I'm probably projecting a bit there :) ) - it was inspiring to observe the parisian couples focusing so intently on each other. Looking into each others eyes, touching each other - they rarely, from what I saw, batted an eye in distraction when they were with a loved one or a friend. It seems like in Canada many of us have the 'i might be missing something' or the 'grass is greener' thing going on (again, possibly projection - maybe it is only me). It feels somewhat scattered - in what we do - in how we are together - how we touch - how we look at one another (obviously making sweeping generalizations here). In Canada it is relatively easy to make eye contact yet it is often fleeting, scattered. We make contact yet we don't. In Paris, it seems that many people are focused in on what they're doing - whether it is work or relationship - to the point of NOT making eye contact with another on the outside. This remarkably strong No leaves room for a remarkably strong Yes (typically for their partners/friends). Yet in those rare instances where one of them would look over at me (typically only if they were alone) they truly looked. They took time with a steady, consistent gaze - no sign of discomfort or the need to look away.
2) I'm responsible for creating the space for relationship
I choose not to wait for another to make contact with me. If I wait, it might never happen. This came up strong for me in reaction to the strong boundaries of the Parisian 'coupling'. I often felt like it was impossible to connect with others while in the city - I'd look in attempt to make eye contact and the door wouldn't open for me. What it basically came down to is a strong realization that I tend to play it VERY safe when meeting new people. In the past I would wait and hope that they would 'break the ice ' by saying hello, by engaging me in conversation. Then at least I'd know they were somewhat interested in the interaction. Playing it safe. At other times (and even in Paris with Don) I'd use other friends as support - I'd have them come along for a sense of safety - as backup in the sense that somebody else was supporting what I was doing - or wanting to do. Again, playing it safe. It feels so vulnerable to be the one that takes action... what if I'm wrong? what if I'm not received? What if they say no?
So I was asking myself...How much longer will I hold out in fear of rejection? How much more disappointment in my own inaction will I endure until I get that I'm the one responsible here? That I'm capable of taking action and making contact at anytime? I'm responsible for opening the door. The worst they can say is no. They might ignore me...they might not care...but at least I can open the door to the possibility of relationship. At least I can acknowledge that we are together. Yes, there is a deep Truth in our 'aloneness' - and yet 'others' keep showing up. I walk amongst my brothers and sisters - it is time to treat them as such. There might not be another moment to physically express how beautiful you are, how incredible and full of grace that you are. There might not be another moment to express how much I love you. ...there isn't.
3) I only 'own' what I'm capable of acting upon.
This is huge for me. HUGE.
I've had insightful teachers in the past express that it is good to know (think) something yet it is quite worthless (eg. having thoughts about what love is)... and that it is great to have felt something yet it is only of personal worth and is fleeting (eg. having an intense experience of deep love)... but it is the action of loving another - taking it into the world (outside of yourself) - that is worth everything.
I've had many thoughts/understandings throughout my life... I've even been blessed with some incredible experiences of unbound love, joy, and bliss... yet when I'm not in the midst of those fleeting experiences I become very curious as to why, on gods green earth, I would shut those experiences down (when they are always available)?? And for a long time I've thought that I've needed more of those experiences so that I would become 'familiar' with the territory and stay there longer. i've thought that it was necessary to unload a few more layers of what i think is holding me back. i've thought that once I have it, then I could offer it to others.
And the funny thing is... (within what seems like such a personal pursuit/path)... that I just need to share it with others. My hold back from expressing and sharing love, joy and bliss (or my favourite way to describe it right now - delight, wonderment, and astonishment) to/with others - regardless of who they are and what they've done for me - is whats holding me back from more consistently experiencing delight, wonderment, and astonishment. I've heard a very wise man say 'Give what you most want to receive'. Profound words. Thank you to all my teachers that have taught even when I wasn't listening. I get it. And as it says in the opening line, I only own what I'm capable of acting upon. May my future actions speak louder than my words.
and on that note....
4) It isn't necessary to paint holy symbols or holy people or holy events to transmit Truth.
All I've got to say is go to Paris and look at an original painting by Monet. It may look like a painting of a flower or a bridge but it is actually God, Truth, divinity - whatever you want to call This.
I saw an incredible amount of artwork in Paris. Inspiring works of beauty, many of which were meaningful depictions of mainly christian/catholic themes with intense stories, spiritual lessons and pointers. I've seen innumerable paintings by artists that obviously saw the beauty, the grace, the emotion, the message... and then painted it vibrantly... beautifully... and then there was Van Gogh and Monet. Monet in particular. I stood in front of a few exquisite works of Monets and was speechless. Brought to great depth. Openned. Tears welling up. While other painters painted about god, Monet painted god... in a flower.... in a bridge. His premier works vibrate so deeply. so truthfully.
Chances are, he wasn't 'teaching' anyone about god with his paintings... he was simply, profoundly sharing the implicit beauty of This with all. I am forever touched.... forever moved by his generosity.
Love
5 Days in Paris
Well I'm in India now - have been for a couple of days...but first some highlights and lessons from Paris.
Paris was absolutely spectacular! The city, its monuments, museums, architecture, culture and its citizens were the epitomy of highly refined taste, style and aesthetic beauty. The land of intellectuals & philosophers, it is no wonder that Descartes (I think, therefore I am) is from there.
The first three weeks of my journey are being spent travelling with a wonderful friend, Don McIver. We got into Paris on Saturday, Dec. 29th, dropped our bags and met up with Calgary friends, Dallas and Eva for some lunch and a tour of the Sacre-Couer (Sacred Heart church) and a Dali exhibit. The Sacred Heart church is likely the most impressive sacred space I've ever been in - not for its age (only about 100 years old) or for the ornateness of it - but rather for its space. The main worship space was friggin' enormous! my god... if we as humans had to build something to represent the vastness of what 'This' really is, the Sacred Heart church is as close as it gets. Awe inspiring with four gigantic (red wood in size) pillars supporting the spectaculat ceiling over space itself. And really, all the cathedrals/churches that we visited had this enormity to them. Paris is the land of Monolithic architecture. Huge. Not even close to small. crazy.
The Musee du Louve was another prime example of the french living large. Housing one of the most exquisite art/relic collections in the world, Don and I got to check out the Mona Lisa, a couple of Michelangelos sculptures, the Winged Victory of Samothrace (one of the most beautiful sculptures I've ever seen), Venus de Milo, etc...tonnes of religious artwork to be had. We also checked out Musee d'Orsay (what an incredible art collection! Monet, Van Gogh, Cezanne, Gauguin, Munch, Rodin, and many many more!), Musee Picasso, Musee Rodin (beautiful, moving sculpture - the Thinker, the Gates of Hell, etc) and the Dome Church where Napolean's Tomb is - and it's HUGE. Go figure.
Also HUGE in Paris - the Eiffel tower (light show and all), the Arc de Triomphe (i know it's a little old but all i could think about while i was there was European Vacation), Notre-Dame (an 800 year old gothic cathedral - huge, beautiful, gargoyles and strangeness to be gazed upon), Chartres Cathedral (another HUGE, BEAUTIFUL 800 year old church that was sooo ancient feeling - this is the one place where it FELT like incredible worhip was still happening - the place felt amazing. All the other cathedrals/churches were heavy tourist spots), Saint-Chapelle (a church that is wall to wall stained glass - very ornate), St. Germain-des-Pres (the oldest church in Paris although most of it has been replaced at one time or another, Cimetiere du Montparnasse (wow! even a cemetery in paris has style - some of the tomb stones were massive pieces of art), and La Defense (a massive shopping and business complex with this HUGE box of a structure that the Notre-Dame could fit in the middle of - straight out of a sci-fi movie for sure).
Five packed days. And we didn't even come close to seeing it all. Paris was amazing - it is a romantic hot spot for sure (the name of the game is 'couples' as far as I could tell in Paris). I'd love to head back someday to take it in again - it was quite overwhelming.
Love
Paris was absolutely spectacular! The city, its monuments, museums, architecture, culture and its citizens were the epitomy of highly refined taste, style and aesthetic beauty. The land of intellectuals & philosophers, it is no wonder that Descartes (I think, therefore I am) is from there.
The first three weeks of my journey are being spent travelling with a wonderful friend, Don McIver. We got into Paris on Saturday, Dec. 29th, dropped our bags and met up with Calgary friends, Dallas and Eva for some lunch and a tour of the Sacre-Couer (Sacred Heart church) and a Dali exhibit. The Sacred Heart church is likely the most impressive sacred space I've ever been in - not for its age (only about 100 years old) or for the ornateness of it - but rather for its space. The main worship space was friggin' enormous! my god... if we as humans had to build something to represent the vastness of what 'This' really is, the Sacred Heart church is as close as it gets. Awe inspiring with four gigantic (red wood in size) pillars supporting the spectaculat ceiling over space itself. And really, all the cathedrals/churches that we visited had this enormity to them. Paris is the land of Monolithic architecture. Huge. Not even close to small. crazy.
The Musee du Louve was another prime example of the french living large. Housing one of the most exquisite art/relic collections in the world, Don and I got to check out the Mona Lisa, a couple of Michelangelos sculptures, the Winged Victory of Samothrace (one of the most beautiful sculptures I've ever seen), Venus de Milo, etc...tonnes of religious artwork to be had. We also checked out Musee d'Orsay (what an incredible art collection! Monet, Van Gogh, Cezanne, Gauguin, Munch, Rodin, and many many more!), Musee Picasso, Musee Rodin (beautiful, moving sculpture - the Thinker, the Gates of Hell, etc) and the Dome Church where Napolean's Tomb is - and it's HUGE. Go figure.
Also HUGE in Paris - the Eiffel tower (light show and all), the Arc de Triomphe (i know it's a little old but all i could think about while i was there was European Vacation), Notre-Dame (an 800 year old gothic cathedral - huge, beautiful, gargoyles and strangeness to be gazed upon), Chartres Cathedral (another HUGE, BEAUTIFUL 800 year old church that was sooo ancient feeling - this is the one place where it FELT like incredible worhip was still happening - the place felt amazing. All the other cathedrals/churches were heavy tourist spots), Saint-Chapelle (a church that is wall to wall stained glass - very ornate), St. Germain-des-Pres (the oldest church in Paris although most of it has been replaced at one time or another, Cimetiere du Montparnasse (wow! even a cemetery in paris has style - some of the tomb stones were massive pieces of art), and La Defense (a massive shopping and business complex with this HUGE box of a structure that the Notre-Dame could fit in the middle of - straight out of a sci-fi movie for sure).
Five packed days. And we didn't even come close to seeing it all. Paris was amazing - it is a romantic hot spot for sure (the name of the game is 'couples' as far as I could tell in Paris). I'd love to head back someday to take it in again - it was quite overwhelming.
Love
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
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